As important as getting out the log out of your eye is…it is not the only responsibility we have in a conflict. Did you notice in Matthew 7:5…Jesus said when we have removed the log from our eye, we are to take the speck out of our brother’s (sister, husband, friend, etc…) eye. And, Paul writes…
Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. Galatians 6:1
You who are spiritual…you who have as your goal—to Glorify God…and have removed the log from your eye…
restore [katartizo] means to…1 to render, i.e. to fit, sound, complete. 1a to mend (what has been broken or rent), to repair. 1a1 to complete. 1b to fit out, equip, put in order, arrange, adjust. 1b1 to fit or frame for one’s self, prepare. 1c ethically: to strengthen, complete, make one what he ought to be. 2 Tim 3:17, Heb 13:21
Our goal then is to restore the person to a right relationship with God, to bring them to repentance, not to confront with list of our complaints, driven by our emotions. We are to reach out to them in love, with humility being mindful of our own sinful tendencies and in obedience to God’s command.
For me this is where is gets really hard…I accept that I must do business with God and right my wrongs before Him…but talking to someone else about their wrongs… is really scary. Will they blow up at me…in trying to help will I instead make the matter worse? I am an “Avoider” and this is one step I would really like to AVOID.
Yet to do that means I want peace my way…not peace God’s way. In fact David Paul Tripp points out “we fail to confront, not because we love others too much, but because we love ourselves too much. We fear others misunderstanding us or being angry with us. We are afraid of what others will think. We don’t want the hardships of honesty because we love ourselves more than we love our neighbors.”