Category: Crisis

Help People During a Crisis

“I don’t have time for a crisis my schedule is already full this week.”

I think we can all agree, we don’t want a crisis to disrupt our dream of the perfect life. But they come anyway in the form of FLOODING, health issues, relationship break-ups, job and financial setbacks, etc… I have read crisis can be defined as NOT being able to live life “normally”. When family and friends experience crisis in their lives, we often would like to help, but don’t know what to do or say.

The seven suggestions listed below are by no means an exhaustive list, but as a guide as you to reach out to help in times of crisis.

1. SHOW UP.

Show up not for the purpose of sharing or teaching, but just to be present in their pain.

2. Ask questions.

When they is ready, invite them to go deeper into their story; ask questions that help clarify.

3. Listen…really listen.

Don’t try to solve or fix. Listen to what is said; share their pain. Sometimes the only words needed are, “I’m sorry.”

4. Suspend judgment.

Refrain from making critical opinion statements. Be vulnerable and willing to understand the story behind her words. Not that you are in agreement with their statements, but you are willing to let them be heard and respected.

 5. Meet practical needs.

Ask how you could best help. Do the kids need to be picked up from school? Meals prepared or other errands done?

6. Pray for them & with them. 

Be a “godly” friend, not just a “good” friend. Encourage then faith;  keep their confidentiality.

7. Know your limitations.

Continue to make yourself and your family your main priority. Encourage them to seek professional help. 

“If we listen well and carry the pain of others…we become part of their healing instead of their wounding. When we do this well we extend the heart of Christ in the ministry of binding up the brokenhearted. Maybe, just maybe, by carrying someone’s pain we give their souls space to breathe and believe again in Jesus who came to rescue, redeem, and restore…one story at a time.”           Kayla Hurt

When you want to crawl in bed and stay…

When trouble comes, our first response might to stay in bed, cover our head, and shut out the world…or is it just me? I would like to offer four tips that can help when you find wishing your problems away does not work…woman-cover-her-head-with-pillow-640x427

Look up.

Cry out to God. Read, reread the bible, let the truth of His love and care sink deep within your soul. It is in God’s word that I find comfort and encouragement that helps to sustain me through the difficult times. In many of the psalms David wrote of his pain and struggles. As I read them it helps me put my problems in perspective and to look past my trouble and trust God’s bigger purpose.

Let my cry come before You, O Lord;

Give me understanding according to Your word.

Let my supplication come before You;

Deliver me according to Your word.  

Psalm 119:169-170

Look within.

Take care of yourself. I want to fix things…NOW! And might be known to work myself into exhaustion to make things right…if only I could. I have learned that I need to relax; and trust that God is at work even when I am not. Sleep; when I don’t get the rest I need, I will likely get sick and definitely will get irritable. Eat healthy; in my need to fix the problem, I often do not want to make the time to shop for groceries and cook a meal, yet the shopping and chopping bring a sense of normalcy and routine that can be very calming. And provides the fuel my body needs to stay healthy through the stressfulness. Exercise; sitting and stewing about the situation gets me down both mentally and physically. Taking a walk or doing an Essentrics workout helps to energize my body and clear my mind.

For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His… 2 Chronicles 16:9

Look around.

Don’t try to go it alone. As a “fixer”, this is probably the area that is most difficult for me…asking for help. Please, turn to trusted friends and share what you are going through. Pray with them. Listen to them. Let them help.

And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. Ecclesiastes 4:12

Look out.

Seek professional help. I have not actually followed through with this step. Friends have shared how helpful it is to speak to a Christian counselor who does not have an emotional attachment to you or your situation,  and who brings a fresh biblical  perspective and offers sound advice.

Listen to counsel and accept discipline,

That you may be wise the rest of your days.

Many plans are in a man’s heart,

But the counsel of the Lord will stand.

Proverbs 19:20-21

Throw back the covers…

Look pass the difficulties that lay ahead having your mind set on heavenly things (Colossians 3:2), and equipped with the sword of the Spirit (Ephesians 6:17). Move forward with a body that is healthy, strong, and well rested.  Stand firm with a heart encouraged by those who walk along side of you through the crisis.