Tag: confess

EXPOSED!

Having you been hiding a particular “big” sin or maybe a foolish “little” sin…not wanting guiltto deal with it or even admit to it? Several months have passed; the guilt is beginning to fade…Then there is a knock at the door and your friend and spiritual mentor is standing at the door saying, ”We need to talk.”

This is the setting for Psalm 51.

For the choir director. A Psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet came to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba.

King David decided not to lead his army in battle but stay in Jerusalem. One day, as evening came, David got out of bed to walk around the roof of his palace. He saw a beautiful woman bathing…he inquired about her…he sent men to take her and bring her to him. Then, discovering the woman was with child and her husband was away serving in the army, David began to plan how to cover up his sin. Plan A – bring the husband home. But he would not sleep in the comfort of his home, when his troops were still at battle. Plan B – send a letter with the husband for the army commander.

“Place Uriah in the front line of the fiercest battle and withdraw from him, so that he may be struck down and die.” (2 Samuel 11:15)

 Plan B complete. The husband was now out of the way, David was free to marry the woman. He thought all was well; his sin dealt with and no one would know…until the Lord sent Nathan to speak to him.

Nathan told David a compelling analogy, and the very public consequences of his private sinful actions. Only then did David confess and pray for God’s grace. This psalm seems to come out of that time of mourning and petition to God.  (Full story in 2 Samuel chapters 11 and 12.)

David, a man after God’s own heart, (1 Sam 13:14, Acts 13:22) was blind to his sin or just in denial of it. It took being confronted for him to see the truth and repent.

What about you…has God placed a “Nathan” in your life? Are you listening? Are you willing to confess and repent? Or are you still denying your sin or trying to shift blame to another?

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,

But a wise man is he who listens to counsel.  

Proverbs 12:15

 He whose ear listens to the life-giving reproof

Will dwell among the wise.

He who neglects discipline despises himself,

But he who listens to reproof acquires understanding.   

Proverbs 15:31-32

Speck Removal-Part 2

How can I gently restore someone?

Jesus outlines a plan for us to help restore those who have gone stray…those caught in a trespass.

15 “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. 16 “But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. 17 “If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Matthew 18:15-17

  1. Meet privately V15 young woman with mentorYou could call or text to make an appointment, but it is critical to make this a face-to-face meeting! If you have not already confessed for your part of the conflict, do so first.  Ask for forgiveness. Then humbly help them to see their sin. We could do this by asking questions or telling a story to help them get the point (Nathan and David in 2 Samuel 12:1-7). You want them to feel invited to talk, not being talked down to. Only share Scripture in a way that is applicable to their life.
  1. Go again with another V16 If the sinful behavior continues, you should go again. But first, ask if you can meet again and bring another person with you…ideally who has seen the sinful behavior. Don’t bring your best friend, (who will agree with you about everything) but someone who can act as an impartial mediator. Don’t appear to be “ganging up” against the person you are going to confront.
  1. Tell a church leader-V17a Only if the other person’s denies sin, but is still practicing sin.
  1. Treat as an unbeliever-V17b This doesn’t mean to avoid, condemn or talk about behind their back but to look for opportunity to evangelize them

We were visiting our son and his family recently…I asked him if he ever had to confront someone of their sin. He said yes, when in charge of a group of students in a summer program. He said yes it was difficult and yes, it didn’t go well, but it was necessary to deal with the issue—the sin.

Of all the aspects of becoming a peacemaker this is by far the most difficult…but as uncomfortable as even thinking about it may make us feel…It is important to try to turn someone from sin—

19 My brothers and sisters, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone turns him back, 20 he should know that the one who turns a sinner back from his wandering path will save that person’s soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins. James 5:19-20 NET

In the next post, we will deal with the question- Do I always need to go to someone and confront them?