The Art of Noticing

Who ever thought “noticing” was an art?  I did not, until I started researching the subject for an upcoming women’s event at church. I was surprised by the number of books and articles written about the importance of noticing. There is even a Harvard summer school class on the “Art of Noticing”. This post will consider noticing as it relates to welcoming the invisible people God has placed in our lives.

Who, outside family and close friends,unknown do you see on regular basis…the sales clerk, barista, neighbor down the street, or co-worker? Do you know their names or remember much about them? Often, I do not.  God in His sovereignty, has put these invisble people in my life…in your life for a reason. He has given us as a mission field in our own neighborhood and community.

Practicing the Art of Noticing

1. Really see the people around you. Frequently, I view the receptionist, waitress or clerk as “necessary” to get my real work done, without really seeing them. Noticing means I pay attention to learn their name and use it during our exchange and as I have opportunity, observe them to learn what is happening in their lives.

2. Pray discreetly for God’s grace and mercy in their lives. Prayers based on what we have observed, without asking if they have a request. In the book, The 9 Arts of Spiritual Conversations, John Crilly calls this “praying behind people’s backs”. I love the idea of secretly praying for a person. Once I start praying for someone I no longer see him or her as an annoying neighbor or only a “necessary” person, but a real person with needs, cares and concerns just like me.

3. Gently engage and genuinely listen to them. This is an area with which I really struggle. Often, I am in a rush to accomplish the next thing on my to-do list. Stopping to look at the clerk, ask how her day is going, and listen to her answer requires time, time I do not always want to give. I have been convicted of the importance of taking this time, because my goal should not be checking off my list, but loving God by caring for the people He has placed before me today.

Her name is Tammy. We discuss family joys (grandchildren) and struggles (losing a parent), vacation fun and everyday stuff, every 6 to 8 weeks when I go in for a haircut. Yes, she is my beautician. In past besides polite chit chat, I don’t think I knew much about “the lady who cuts my hair”. But this time I have chosen to notice, pray and listen to her and let God guide our relationship.

If we are to welcome others as Christ has welcomed us (Romans 15:7), we must take the time to notice the people God has placed in our lives. See them as people, not just as the family in the house next door or that service gal or guy. Pray for them, as specifically as possible, not just, bless our neighbors. Listen…listen…listen…nothing says, “I notice you” as stopping and listening.

Welcoming starts with the simple act of noticing and can lead to a change in eternity, as we let God use us, just as He had planned.

 

God’s Blueprint for FORGIVENESS…

The third in a series ( Blueprint for a Perfect Relationship and God’s Blueprint for Relationships: Love)

Remember that apology your Momangry-baby forced you and your siblings to give each other after yet another childhood fight…one that was grudging given and half-heartedly accepted? On a good day you would go back to playing together. On a bad day, you would go to separate corners of the house to mope about the unfairness of the other. Too often this is our view of forgiveness…a forced apology and mumbled acceptance.

“Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”   Ephesians 4:32

  1. We fail to forgive because we forget how we have been forgiven

By nature we are sinners…children of wrath (Eph 2:3). This sounds harsh, but we must understand that our goodness is never good enough before God. Our sins keep us separated from God, His promises, and without hope in the world (Eph 2:12). God, not wanting us to stay in our sinful condition, provided a way for us to find forgiveness of our sins. Because of His great love for us, He sent Jesus to be the propitiation for our sins (Hebrews 2:17).

How are we forgiven by God?    Through the blood of Christ, we have the forgiveness of our sins, according to the riches of His grace which He lavished on us (Ephesians 1:7-8a).

Paul describes this forgiveness as canceling the certificate of debt (our sins) against us, taken out of the way by Jesus being nailed to the cross (Colossians 2:13-14)

Why are we forgiven?   We are forgiven that we may be cleansed from our sinfulness (1 John 1:9) and to have a renewed relationship with God…being brought near and having peace with Him (Ephesians 2:12-14).

  1. When we forgive others it honors the One who forgave us

We need to realize that forgiveness is choice we make, not just because we have been told to forgive, but out of our appreciation of the tremendous mercy and grace of God’s forgiveness for our own sins. If God was able to forgive us, the forgiveness of another is a small thing for Him to ask of us.

How are we to forgive? We are to forgive as often as we are sinned against, even to  70 x 7 times  (Matt 18:21-22). We are to put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentileness and patience that is seen as we forgive the complaints we have against others (Colossians 3:12, 13). We give grace because we have been given grace (Ephesians 1:7-8).

  1. Our failing to forgive has eternal consequences

When we do not forgive, but instead hold on to anger, bitterness and resentfulness, we sin, making barrier between God and ourselves. He cannot forgive us when we refuse to forgive others (Matthew 6:14, 15; 18:35). Not only must we forgive others, we must ask for forgiveness of others. God is aware of our sinfulness and our need to ask for forgiveness, we need to be reconciled with others before we can come to God (Matthew 5:23-24).

 

Forgiveness is a choice…We all make choices that hurt our relationships. Asking and receiving forgiveness is the key to keeping relationships alive or having them explode into anger and pain.

If love can be described as the flame that keeps a relationship strong, then forgiveness is a fan that strokes the flame. Unforgiveness would be a bucket of ice water that extinguishes the flame.