“I don’t have time for a crisis my schedule is already full this week.”
I think we can all agree, we don’t want a crisis to disrupt our dream of the perfect life. But they come anyway in the form of health issues, relationships break-ups, job and financial setbacks, etc… I have read crisis can be defined as not being able to live life “normally”. When family and friends experience crisis in their lives, we often would like to help, but don’t know what to do or say.
The seven suggestions listed below are by no means an exhaustive list, but as a guide as you to reach out to help in times of crisis.
1. Show up.
Show up not for the purpose of sharing or teaching, but just to be present in their pain.
2. Ask questions.
When they is ready, invite them to go deeper into their story; ask questions that help clarify.
3. Listen…really listen.
Don’t try to solve or fix. Listen to what is said; share their pain. Sometimes the only words needed are, “I’m sorry.”
4. Suspend judgment.
Refrain from making critical opinion statements. Be vulnerable and willing to understand the story behind her words. Not that you are in agreement with their statements, but you are willing to let them be heard and respected.
5. Meet practical needs.
Ask how you could best help. Do the kids need to be picked up from school? Meals prepared or other errands done?
6. Pray for them and with them.
Be a “godly” friend, not just a “good” friend. Encourage then faith; keep their confidentiality.
7. Know your limitations.
Continue to make yourself and your family your main priority. Encourage them to seek professional help.
“If we listen well and carry the pain of others…we become part of their healing instead of their wounding. When we do this well we extend the heart of Christ in the ministry of binding up the brokenhearted. Maybe, just maybe, by carrying someone’s pain we give their souls space to breathe and believe again in Jesus who came to rescue, redeem, and restore…one story at a time.” Kayla Hurt